So I can’t remember what exactly I was conflicted about on November 11, but I’m sure it was angsty. I can only cling onto my teenage angst for another year. Being 19, my time to use that excuse is running out. What will I turn to in my twenties? I can’t use mid-life crisis because I’m banking on my twenties not being the middle of my life. If they were, that would mean I’d live till my forties, and that’s just too short. Then again, I’m not afraid to die. Death has lost its sting, if you know what I mean.

It’s kind of sweet to live under that reality, and when I say sweet, I mean it too. I’m not throwing that term out like so many generic, over-used adjectives. For example, “awesome”—I throw the word “awesome” around so frequently that I can only come to two conclusions. Either I am easily awe-inspired or I don’t use the word correctly. To be struck with awe is something that should be reserved for incredible things not common-place events….I’ll work on that.

Anyways it is Thanksgiving break, and I’m glad to be home. I have to be honest, though. I was not looking forward to this break. I didn’t want to come home. My last time here was difficult. Attending your grandfather’s funeral is not something you want to do. He was a great man, a quiet man, a gentle man, a loving man, a generous man, a wise man, but most of all he was my grandpa. I miss him.

Despite my misgivings, however, this break has been wonderful. Rarely have I been so encouraged. I’m discovering how much my family loves me. Not only do they love me, but they also respect me. I’ve had so many projects hanging over my head, that I’ve spent half my time this break huddled in a corner, clicking at a keyboard. They have given me the space and permission to do that. Thank you.

Now for some updates: I’ve started a writing and literature group at Wheaton. Yay! As of now we only have three members (me being one of them), but it is still fun. The two boys, Caleb and Jeremy, are full of ideas. Whenever our group meets, I get all excited and start talking faster. We just finished reading Stephen King’s book, On Writing, and are now working on writing short stories.

Side note: I talk faster and gesticulate more whenever I’m talking about English. I’m a nerd. Oh I also love editing. It is invigorating, and I’ve come to a point where people are giving me their stuff to peruse and edit. Their trust gives me hope that pursuing a career in English is not a vain hope.

That’s all for now. I need to be writing Anthropology paper. Peace.