A haiku for you:

Haikus are quite fun,
But sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refrigerator.

The infamous and beloved batman backpack. It's subtle, it's inspiring, it's BATMAN!



MMMMMM chocolate shop!

I'm back with more ramblings.

I felt strangely connected to Virginia Woolf when we were discussing her in English 216 on Thursday. I say strangely because Virginia Woolf lived a life that I would never consider living. She was bisexual, crazy, and suicidal.

Nevertheless I felt connected to her because of the way she thought. Having many of her immediate family die, made Woolf retreat into the haven of her mind. She is well-known for her stream of conscience technique. She approached life as a spectator, not a participant. The life she lived was more like a script; she lived as if she saw everything through a lens. Every person, plant, animal, or situation she encountered offered a story or triggered a thought whether true or imagined. Woolf created fantasies for herself and then lived in them. She was truly a master of self deception.

The way she interpreted the things around her reminds me of the way I see things sometimes. My friends are always catching me as I space out. What they don’t always realize is that my blank stare is a mask for the stories swirling in my head. I can’t help but think about what is going on right underneath our noses.
Are the dead bugs in fluorescent lights really dead bugs? Is the buzzing of a street lamp late at night really simply an electrical current? Does that flickering light, have a short in it or is there a signal in the flashing? What if our lost socks were the result of a clumsy house hob? What if glue bottles, which fly inexplicably across the room, are the doings of a jealous ghost having a bad day? What if gremlins set off dorm fire alarms at 4:35 in the morning?

I can’t help but wonder about the World Behind the Curtain. How much does that world, bump into our world?

Have you ever had a thought pop into your head which you can’t explain? You could be in the middle of a deep conversation about disillusionment in Modernist writings when suddenly you find yourself thinking, “I was lying face down in the mud. That was the moment I realized I would never eat caramel popcorn again.”

How did those two sentences find their way into my head? Once there, they begin to bug me. It’s like a chigger bite; the bug has taken root, and now it itches like mad. I start to wonder where those sentences came from and what the story is behind them. What sort of story would bring about a character lying face down in the mud? And how on earth does that connect to caramel popcorn?

I end with this hope. At least I’m an English major with a writing concentration. English majors can afford to be a bit eccentric.

coffee cup

One of Ryan's posts reminded me of a story. I was sitting in the cafeteria at breakfast. Deanna had gotten up to get some cereal, and while she was gone, I became intensely aware of how good my coffee was that morning. Before I knew what I was doing, I was singing "yum yum yum yum. yum yum yum yum," in a high pitched voice while staring intently at my cup. Then from the corner of my eye, I see someone skirting the table. I'm still singing, as I realized that they've stopped. I look up up, and a complete stranger is staring right at me. He doesn't say a word; he just turns around and walks out of the cafeteria. Needless to say, I now try to keep my coffee cup serenades within the confines of my room.

This is the title.

I've been conflicted about what to do this summer. I have the opportunity to go on an archaeological dig this summer to Ashkelon, Israel. I also could be a counselor at Honeyrock.

Reading the three sentences above, from an objective point of view, I would tell that person to go on an archaeology dig. After all, it seems much more adventuresome, but I'm not objective. I'm conflicted.

First off Ashkelon is getting bombed by Gaza. Secondly, I'm not sure if I want to major in Archaeology. In fact I've been thinking a lot about my future. What should I invest my time in? People tell me that I have time to decide, and that I have the next three and a half years ahead of me to enjoy college and seize different opportunities. The truth of the matter, however, is that time flies. It's gone before you know it. The flip side of the coin, however, is that if I look too much to the future then I forget to live in the present.

When you're cooking, your primary focus is on the front burners; what's boiling right then. You're not as worried about the back burners. If my future is the back burners then I have been way too focus on them, and the pots at the front are going to boil over soon.

I'm also questioning my motives behind going to Ashkelon. I have a sinking feeling that they are very selfish. So much of my life has been about trying to "better" myself through better education, better traveling, better experiences, better books, better teachers, etc. I'm starting to think that digging up pots that are thousands of years old is not the best use of my time. I might better serve as a counselor. What is more important than a human soul? This is not to say that I have any power to work great changes or influence people, but I might be better used at honeyrock. Then again, who am I to dictate to God how I think I would best be used. It's not my place. I'm called to walk in the center of His will; I'm just having trouble hearing what His will is. I'm afraid that I'm going to make a mistake.

Well, after that tirade, I have one last thing to say. How many people could sit at their computer desk fretting with the question: should I do an archaeological dig or be a counselor? Really, it's not that earth shattering of a question. I'm very blessed if this is the hardest choice that I have to make right now.

Honeyrock

Since I don't have time to write a decent blog, I'll take the easy way out and post pictures.



Here is part of my wilderness group. We traveled over ninety miles through the wild woods of Wisconsin and the UP.



The sweat, blisters, isolation, and tired legs were completely worth it.



I'm the one in the blue hat on the far right.

hm.

It's definitely been one of those days.