coffee cup

One of Ryan's posts reminded me of a story. I was sitting in the cafeteria at breakfast. Deanna had gotten up to get some cereal, and while she was gone, I became intensely aware of how good my coffee was that morning. Before I knew what I was doing, I was singing "yum yum yum yum. yum yum yum yum," in a high pitched voice while staring intently at my cup. Then from the corner of my eye, I see someone skirting the table. I'm still singing, as I realized that they've stopped. I look up up, and a complete stranger is staring right at me. He doesn't say a word; he just turns around and walks out of the cafeteria. Needless to say, I now try to keep my coffee cup serenades within the confines of my room.

This is the title.

I've been conflicted about what to do this summer. I have the opportunity to go on an archaeological dig this summer to Ashkelon, Israel. I also could be a counselor at Honeyrock.

Reading the three sentences above, from an objective point of view, I would tell that person to go on an archaeology dig. After all, it seems much more adventuresome, but I'm not objective. I'm conflicted.

First off Ashkelon is getting bombed by Gaza. Secondly, I'm not sure if I want to major in Archaeology. In fact I've been thinking a lot about my future. What should I invest my time in? People tell me that I have time to decide, and that I have the next three and a half years ahead of me to enjoy college and seize different opportunities. The truth of the matter, however, is that time flies. It's gone before you know it. The flip side of the coin, however, is that if I look too much to the future then I forget to live in the present.

When you're cooking, your primary focus is on the front burners; what's boiling right then. You're not as worried about the back burners. If my future is the back burners then I have been way too focus on them, and the pots at the front are going to boil over soon.

I'm also questioning my motives behind going to Ashkelon. I have a sinking feeling that they are very selfish. So much of my life has been about trying to "better" myself through better education, better traveling, better experiences, better books, better teachers, etc. I'm starting to think that digging up pots that are thousands of years old is not the best use of my time. I might better serve as a counselor. What is more important than a human soul? This is not to say that I have any power to work great changes or influence people, but I might be better used at honeyrock. Then again, who am I to dictate to God how I think I would best be used. It's not my place. I'm called to walk in the center of His will; I'm just having trouble hearing what His will is. I'm afraid that I'm going to make a mistake.

Well, after that tirade, I have one last thing to say. How many people could sit at their computer desk fretting with the question: should I do an archaeological dig or be a counselor? Really, it's not that earth shattering of a question. I'm very blessed if this is the hardest choice that I have to make right now.